Inspired by “The Invitation” by Oriah Mountain Dreamer
I dream of being a writer, a sister, a lover.
A dreamer in my entirety.
I long for the adventure of life and all the secrets it holds, no matter how far from my reach it may seem.
I risk it all for the things I love.
My family, my future, like a fool in love with myself.
A narcissist if you will.
I have been ripped apart by pain and grief, picking up pieces and fixing myself like an abstract piece.
I’m a pessimist, melodramatic, uncaring and yet I still sit and hold them when they cry.
I laugh with them, sing with them with a smile on my face, playing a role and lying in the process.
It’s a facade, a musicless dance of lies I weave.
Lies are a disease.
A disease that kills my heart and soul yet fuels theirs.
Though I doubt they know they live off lies.
Even now I lie, both then, and now, for a story.
One that may touch my readers heart as well as my own.
I’ve watched others be destroyed by my words while I enjoy it.
It’s freeing to be selfish and not bother with what others think of you.
It’s as freeing as it is terrifying,
It makes my blood run cold.
I’ve failed time and time again.
Yet out of sheer spite I rise from the grave like a zombie, piecing together what’s been broken.
The lord knows I care.
It’s funny how for a thing I don’t believe in, god, is something I refer to often.
Yet I claim to hold no belief towards that being
Or perhaps I lie even to myself, even now…
No matter.
I’ll always be there to dry others’ tears, playing a role.
A character.
I’m no poet, but I am a writer and when feeling overcomes me, poetry,
No, writing itself is something that lives inside me.
Infernal.
It is the one thing that guides me through those lonely nights
And it is the one thing that mocks me.
Even now…
Author’s Note:
I was inspired by a poem written by Oriah Mountain Dreamer titled, ‘The Invitation’ which my own poem title derives from. Her poems symbolized longing and I took it as a prompt to write my own, thus, ‘answering’ the prompt. As an individual with ASD, I often struggle with emotions, expressing things like empathy or even just putting a name to what it was I felt. I wanted my poem to embody this longing to understand a love, and almost an obsession, towards an individual left unnamed for others of a similar mind to see themselves in.
Jessica Oliva Ponce | 17 | Houston, TX | @diary_of_a_madman08 on TikTok
