The room is loud with empty chatter–
I do not speak unless it matters.
Though I’ll listen, I will not join.
Their hearts feel made of plastic coins,
The world moves fast, and i move slow,
A quiet ghost with eyes aglow–
not from joy but from the ache
of seeing more than most can take..
I walk through rooms like drifting smoke,
A breath half choked,
Three years of fog behind my face,
The mirror shifts– and I leave no trace.
This fog, it wraps like a second skin,
Too thick to feel, too loud to scream–
the ache that burns me within.
They love like fire left uncracked,
Their love is hunger, heat and no respect.
But i was built for something still,
Something real and worth–
a love that gives me a will,
Not lust, not games, not empty stares–
but hands that hold with a quiet care
They chase affection like its air,
But never really stop to care
And their love is games and shrinking skin–
I want the kind that pulls you in.
But yet I am surrounded by the loudness of the crowd,
By hearts that lie and faces proud.
They never once ask what silence meant–
they fill it fast with plastic things.
I’ve felt like fog for three long years.
I cry in thoughts, not actual tears.
And no one knows what I’ve become–
too full of feeling to feel numb.
They never knock, they’ll never see,
Just pass through versions made of me.
And if i vanished in the night,
The world would blink and dim the light–
but still, i wait for something true,
Some quiet soul who sees me too
Because in the end, we are what we consume.
Author’s Note:
Something that had inspired me to write this was my emotions & mostly on derealization in the mixing of wanting something deeper with someone who is willing to understand deeper than rushing into more aka something lustful. This is also baised on emotional intelligence / thoughts. Ive been meaning to write about this but this finally gave me motivation!! I hopes you enjoy!😊😊
Elyanna Quezada | 15 | Saint Paul, MN | @kiitycatz1 on TikTok & @catsrkewl9 on Instagram
