I am ugly in orange.
My reflection is an abhorrence
“But it fits you just right!”
But I like myself better undressed at night.
The white bulbs in my bathroom blinds
Revealing orange bottles on the blinds
Orange capsules make my throat close
And I go out wearing orange clothes
Wearing orange clothes.
I look so different and it shows
You almost cannot recognize my eyes
But you love me more in this disguise?
You shouldn’t love me when im in orange
To you I look like rotten porridge
Your eyes bleed when you see me
Whose wouldn’t, that person is so ugly
But to you, what can I say?
The orange “makes me look” okay
without it I “cannot go a day”
And I “am ugly any other way”
You should hate me when I’m in orange.
The man who deserves your love is in shortage
I know because you know who he happens to be
I am him, and in orange i am not the real me
Don’t love me in orange.
Im not who you want to call
But if I have to wear orange
Don’t love me at all
Author’s Note:
I made this piece to represent the internal struggle of taking medicine for ADHD. I wished to express the feeling of not being myself, as if I was two people. My main conflict is with feeling like I was not myself while medicated but being told I had to take my medicine to be the ideal person.
Mateo Sandoval | 17 | California, USA
