//////, there’s nothing in the universe I love more than you. It’s been two years, and my heart beats faster and faster for you. Your veiled-cinnamon hair gives me warmth, your hazel eyes trance me, and your tender heart strengthens me. You’ve left the most special mark on my heart.
You changed the course of my life. You were the only person who was able to bring me out of my suicidal state. I wanted to die, but I ached for your kindness. I always felt like I needed more of you. Every moment I talked to you, I couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear. Glimpsing your first-blush lips for seconds more would light me up like the fireworks we watched.
Everything about you is perfect. From your honeyed skin to your weird personality, nothing could be better. Your skin sparkled like a star every time I saw you. I can’t say this enough, you are the most beautiful person to have lived. Your soft, serene voice always felt like an aura of magic was whirling around whenever you spoke. I love you from one edge of space to the other.
At the very first sight of you, every microscopic bit of confidence I had washed away like sand at the beach. Never in my dreams did I imagine someone with as angelic looks as you want to be my friend. That day in the 8th grade, when you decided to come talk to me, will always be considered the best day of my life. I’d planned to commit suicide after school, but something about your kindness shielded me.
That same day that you came to talk to me in the 8th grade was exactly three weeks after my dad had jumped off of the Savannah River bridge. Word had spread around the school, and every day after that was absolute agony. People at school had found out and mocked me, but then there was you, the polar opposite of everyone else. A sweet, stunning, soft-voiced girl.
God, I remember your words like you said them yesterday. You’d sat with me and talked to me like I was a real human. It turned out that all I needed was someone to talk to you. Nobody but you tried to talk to me, and that turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I don’t think anybody else in this world would have been able to make me smile for as long as you did.
You took my biggest insecurities and turned them into my favorite things about myself; I hated the way my eyes looked, but you made me feel like I was looking through the sun. The world around me gained a level of vitality. I hated the way I sounded, but you made me feel like my tongue was on velvet. The people around me started to hear my voice. Just thinking about your words gives me the same butterflies as they once did.
If you were here with me right now, //////, I’d go to the ends of the Earth for you. It was so sudden, I’d come back from work one day and you were sleeping soundly on the couch. Every few minutes, I went and checked on you, but you didn’t move a muscle the entire time. I felt your neck for a pulse, but it was an asystole rhythm. I rushed you to the emergency room. It didn’t take long for the doctors to tell me you were too far gone. I melted into tears.
My whole world had been ripped from me. I had no idea what to do with myself. Losing you has been the most grueling, painful experience of my life. Every moment without you is difficult, but I’ve learned to harness the love you gave me as strength.
You restored my heart when I needed it, and now a room has been carved for you. Every word you’ve said to me, every smile you flashed, every hair twirl is locked away and never to be forgotten. Every day, I take a new memory out and admire it.
/////, forever and always, you’re the world’s sleeping beauty.
Author’s Note:
I first started writing this piece around 3 years ago, but at the time it was a rewrite of the ending to the Outsiders since I hated it so much. After a while though, I guess I saw some potential in it and added a bit of stories from my life to make it what it is now.
Luke Johnson | 15 | Springfield, GA | @lukedisguisedasanapple on TikTok
